***The High Romance***

Welcome to
High Romance Marriage Spices

Spice #6: History Lessons: The Interview

How much do you think you know about your spouse? You're a reporter, and your job is to interview your spouse and then (optional) put together what you found out into a biography. There's an even more in-depth version of this I'll mention later.

Here are some beginning questions:

1. When was she/he born, in what hospital and in what town? Were there any complications in the birth or interesting events surrounding her/his birth?

2. As a small child, what did your spouse want to be when they grew up?

3. What was the most painful thing that happened to your spouse as a child?

4. What was the most beautiful or meaningful thing your spouse recalls having experienced as a child?

5. Who was your spouse's hero as a child? Who is your spouse's hero today (other than you, of course!)? Why? Does your spouse have some of the same talents and/or strengths as the hero they admire?

6. Can you name all your spouse's siblings? Her or his parents (by name)? What did each parent have as a vocation?

7. What was your spouse's most memorable vacation as a child? As an adult? With you?

8. What foods does your spouse dislike the most? What ones does she/he like the most? Does your spouse like to cook, or prefer you to? (Have you ever cooked for your spouse?!)

9. What kind of music does your spouse dislike the most? Like the most?

10. What forms of sexual expression -- both verbal and physical -- during lovemaking does your spouse like the most? (Sometimes men want details, while women tend to describe the emotional and environmental settings of making love.) What doesn't she/he like?

11. What is a wild dream your spouse has, some secret longing that they rarely or never mention aloud because it is "too silly," "too extravagent," or "too selfish"? (example: a vacation in Tahiti)

12. What writer or writers are favorites with your spouse? Fiction and non-fiction apply.

13. What is your spouse's favorite perfume or cologne... on you!?

14. What deepest need in your spouse does she/he feel you meet best? Why?

Well, that should get you started. And for the deeper version of this spice, make your interview(s) on tape, interview others who know your spouse (do this without her/his knowledge and swear them to secrecy!), and then write an article about your spouse and print it up for the two of you. If it is appropriate, you can also share it with your children and/or other family members.

Knowing your spouse, drawing her/him out with gentle questions about things that matter both big and small, is part of the High Romance.